Audrey Bechler's Paintings

June 22

It is a rainy day, yesterday a nice day after two day of rain that soaked into the earth and all the weeds, plants and grass grew 6 inches. It is amazing. I have to weed and mow but I have fresh good food to eat. A friend said weeds are plants that are in the wrong place. My lawn has more dandelions then grass and I don’t care but I pull them out of the vegetable garden.

I ran into an artist friend older then myself and she said “I doesn’t paint anymore. I did my best paintings when I was in my seventies. She said I like where I live, I like my house and I like walking around it and enjoying the place.” Are we all content with our place! Are we content with our work, with our age with our home with our state of being? Older people like my self look back on their lives, a continuation of waves that constantly move seemingly forward with their crests and troughs and one thinks, have i learned anything, have I changed, am I satisfied with my life, am I content and happy. I was lucky to be born with a calm disposition, and a creative nature that has giving me the awareness to observe and appreciate. I don’t know if I learned from my mistakes, or doing things the wrong way. That part is the trough and part of life that is constantly changing. There are times of challenging situations and time of everything going great. They are connected, like the yang, yin of the Chinese circle, or two sides of a coin. I can’t say I did my best paintings in my seventies. I will say it has been cyclic, times when I saw differently. If one is to judge ones work, through every period, I made good and not so good paintings. It is interesting to look back and see what sparked a change. Always painting is exciting for me, in the moment, challenging, working toward a finished picture that I have an idea of what it will look like. If each step is done correctly, or corrected as it happens, usually the painting will be successful, no different then living life itself. The really good paintings lift me to the crest and when I don’t succeed I say I did it before and I can do it again.

Now I have hundreds of paintings stored in this house. Some I am very attached to. I look at them everyday hanging on my walls. I enjoyed painting each one but now they are a burden, stored in closets, under beds, against the walls. I almost died this winter and my children would have had to deal with the paintings. They say there is a solution to every problem. I don’t know what the answer is. I have read to visualize the goal, and the way to the goal will fall into place. I would like my paintings on other peoples walls. Believe this has happened, right! I have never been good at visualization or changing the negative beliefs about selling my art. I know I have mentioned this before. Other artists have the same problem. Does anyone have an idea?

some spring paintings from the past